just wait
i asked God for a rapid recovery
just wait
i asked why it was taking so long?
just wait
i asked if not now then when?
just wait
i asked why not now?
just wait
finally, after much frustration, i said,
fine, i'll wait.
yet in my impatience,
i asked God, how long do i wait for?
just wait
and in desperation, God when will you answer my prayer?
just wait
i wondered, God don't you hear me?
just wait
i pleaded, God don't you care?
just wait
and finally, after much struggle, i asked, God what do you want me to do?
just wait
let's just say that this week wasn't exactly the peachy-est for me. i feel like i missed out on so much... from once-in-a-lifetime drama performances, to shopping with friends, to celebrating a day off from school with a trip downtown, to bible study, to celebration dinners and after-parties... just a lot. and i guess in the midst of all this missing out, i wondered why it was that of all the weeks in the year, it had to be this one that i got sick... and not just one of those one-day bugs, but a 4-day flu bug that still makes me tired and still has me on meds. and apart from that, there are other factors on top of just the flu that i've had to deal with too. and in this struggling for an answer, i keep getting the poked in the head (not really whacked... yet) and being told to wait on God's time. it's in this time of waiting, that i'm really unsure of what it is that i'm supposed to do... pray more? worship more? sleep more? study more? i'd like to think that if i prayed more that maybe an answer would come quicker... but that's a very childish way of thinking... and i know God doesn't work like that. even in my time of waiting, i thought that maybe God didn't hear me, and just wasn't listening... but again, a very childish way of thinking. then i thought maybe God just didn't care... again... childish. and in all this reflection, this verse hit me:
1 Corinthians 3:11
... so much for being so grown-up, eh? i came to the realization that i still have much growing to do in my spiritual walk... and no matter how far i think i've come, i look ahead and still see that there's still quite a ways to go.
after all the events of this week, it seems quite appropriate then that today's sermon was about thanksgiving not FOR all circumstances, but IN all circumstances... just cuz there are simply some circumstances that you have nothing to be thankful for... but through those difficult circumstances we can give thanks because we know that God is further refining us to be more like Him, so that we can be used by Him in other circumstances. needless to say this week was definitely an ordeal and i was faced with a number of difficult circumstances ... yet i know that God's got a purpose ... and well i just have to wait. :P